At a glance

well as i sit here and think about my time in edinburgh, it was what you might call a bitter sweet adventure

to work in Edinburgh was one of the things i've wanted to do since i got over here. most people want to work in London... i always wanted to try my luck in Edinburgh, and locum jobs up that way a snatched up in an instant... hence the reason i jumped at the chance to head up there for a few weeks...

i'm not a huge city fan, but edinburgh with it's coblestone streets, history etched into the very core and atmosphere had me won over from the very first meeting way back in feb.

I both loved and hated my experience.. at the same time..

on paper it was my ideal job, the job i want to have when i finally finish running around the country

- an extremely busy department
- great learning environments to extend yourself
- plenty of opourtunities (different modalities to keep you on your toes)
- loads younger staff members, not just full of old biddies..
- located in the best city in the uk!

but as many of you know there was one girl who pretty much ruined the experience..

i cant blame it on her entirely, we both took and instant dislike to each other.. and maybe had one or the other made more of an effort to be civil towards each other we may have got somewhere..

as much as i tried over the weeks to not let it bother me... it really did, and every day i hated and dreaded the thought of going to work...

the days were always brighter when she was assigned someone where else

i'm a simple person, i'll be nice to you if you're nice to me, what goes around comes around... and i'm also stubborn and once an opinon has been formed there's not a lot you can do about it..
Am also one of the best at holding grudges (as a few of you will know)

but how can you not let it bother you, when someone contantly makes you feel like and eeijit for no reason... i'm talking standing over your shoulder double checking everything you're doing, then telling you that you're doing it wrong, and constantly questioning you...

now... i don't mind being told i'm doing something wrong if that is the case... many of the times there was nothing to fault, but she'd just do it over anything..

i felt so horrible and almost broken at times... it must be how wild horses feel when they're broken in... having someone go and go and go at you until you're completely and mentally wrecked and then you build them back up into a robot that you want...

it's an awful feeling that i honestly wouldn't wish on my worst enemy... where you just feel like shite and you question why you keep going back to that...

it would have been so easy to pack my bags and run... but i made myself keep going back day after day...

and i got through it..

i think i'm a stronger person for it

my job involves team work... we didn't have that there... it was the pemanent staff against the locum the majority of the time...

it's hard to have teamwork when you're left to do the majority of the work...

we're in a box almost, isolated from the rest of the hospital, so a lot of the time it was only the 4 of us...

i've never felt so bad about just being somewhere before...

i lived life constantly on edge waiting for some sort of critiscism on my work, as it was constant stream whenever T was around, no matter what i was doing
i don't like that

my job really isn't all that hard... any trained monkey can do it... i mean come on i can do it after all!

i don't need to have someone hover over my shoulder telling me what i'm doing is wrong and trying to make me look like a git,

i accept criticism when it's fairly given...

it's given me a whole new look on how people deal with pressure and how not to treat people.

i like to think of myself as a kind and considerate type of person, i'll always go out of my way to help someone in need, often beyond the call of duty, and you know what... that doesn't bother me at all.

it's me..

i can be evil and sarcastic, but deep down i'm generally nice!

i gave up on befriending those that weren't nice,

lucky with my job is that there's always a patient to talk to, and they were my favourites... little old scottish people are just gorgeous... i love them all, they type you just want to pick up and put in your pocket and take them home with you! they were honestly what saved me from constantly going mad some days.

it just really wasn't a friendly or healthy environment to work it... it was bizarre it was like i was a constant outsider, they were all really good friends, all been there for years, with the knowing attitude, able to do everything, know everyone,always up for a laugh with each other...
they just didn't include me...

it was really lonely experience....

i guess i'm used to being sucked up into an environment almost instantaneously...

i can see ways looking back that i should have made more of an effort, i just got that whole idea of if they don't want to get to know me, i don't want to get to know them...

as bad as it was though i think if a job was offered to me there again, i might be inclined to take it... especially if it was in the plain film section again, those i met from there were awesome...

for the experience, i loved the actual work section... just not the working environment... if that makes any sense what so ever...

i did learn alot in the way of radiography, and most days my mind would hurt! :O)

it definitely kept you on your toes and the days passed quickly..

but what a difference it was steping back into life in preston... where i was welcomed into the family with open arms!

the city might not have an eight of the character of edinburgh, but it's got the love!